Okay, so I am a little nerd. I put way too many hours into World of Warcraft. I am a huge fan of a super awesome show called “The Guild” — if you’re into role-playing games like me, you definitely have to check it out! I also played Everquest which I hesitate to tell people because it reveals my age more than anything but hey, whatever.

Anyway, as much as I love the adventure and fantasy part of these games, I just as equally love the fact that there’s so much customization for fashion in these games. My absolute favorite part of trying out new games is the character creation. And sad to say, I oftentimes select characters based on what their potential outfits will look like as I level them.

Okay… so with that said, I have always gone up and down in weight by about 20-30 pounds. When I’m heavier, I have a few outfits I rotate mostly consisting of sweaters that’ll let me fit another body in there with me. In other words, I like to hide under super baggy clothes. But during the infrequent moments when I’m lighter, I grow a little bit of courage to have fun with clothes! Case in point:  Photo on left. I just love that outfit because of the unexpected color from the tights (by Anthropologie)!

Well, so I was browsing online and stopped in total delight by the girl in the following photo:

It was like experiencing a brief alternate outfit universe:  This woman was wearing one of my favorite outfits but like, inverted or something! I then started clicking on her posts like a madwoman and discovered two things:

1. This woman has awesome style. She knows her body and does NOT do frumpy. She has fun with her clothes and doesn’t cease to impress me with her creativity and consistent loveliness. Her name is Renee T. Bouchard and her blog, Style… The New Black, has become one of my favorite blogs.
2. I’ve recently changed my entire perspective on dressing and have decided to take care in dressing my best no matter whether I’m at the higher range of my weight or the lower. It’s seriously so true that as comfortable as baggy clothes are, fitted will always be more flattering no matter our sizes. The show “What Not to Wear” demonstrates this concept well. And I also like FittotheFinish’s post on this point as well.

To end this post, I just want to say that most of us women beat ourselves up over our weight way too much. For many, our view of our bodies torment us. If I could pursue a cause, it’d be to change this whole twisted idea of beauty associated with being a certain size. But I’m myself struggling with this issue: As much as I’m an advocate of beauty in all sizes, I am currently on a diet. I don’t know how to resolve this inconsistency in my thinking.

Anyways, my goal, as established in another blog I’m going to focus more on, is to be a person of loveliness inside, outside, all sides, no matter my weight. And when I mean outside, I don’t mean to achieve a certain look; I mean practicing a life of discipline to be my personal best. And this means exercising regularly, washing my make-up off before hitting the bed (I’m super lazy), taking care to present myself appropriately in social situations while expressing my individual style (this is important to me — if I don’t feel comfortable in my clothes, it’ll affect my mental comfort), and etc. I want whatever I look like as a result to be secondary to the contentment I feel in knowing that I am facing (and moving!) in the right direction. And I must say, it’s working. We may not be able to prevent certain insecurities from creeping into our consciousness but we CAN direct our minds to focus on positive and productive and loving thoughts.

This post doesn’t cover anything new. I just loved Dior’s Lady Blue campaign starring Marion Cotillard. I visited Shanghai once and my head didn’t stop spinning; it’s such an incredible mingling of the old world with the new. The architecture of the buildings and the city itself is amazing but it’s not just that. Amongst the shiny tourist show boats parked in the river, occasionally floating by were these huge, old, flat boats that I had never seen before, with people standing atop them looking back out at the crowds of people on the designer shops-lined streets. The boat people looked like they lived on the boats, passing by the occasional cities that the river traveled through.

Of course, you don’t see that in the Dior ads. But they’re still gorgeous, highly stylized and a little dark. I love the subdued pop of orange on the Oriental Pearl Tower as well as the lightening of the background toward Marion’s side: She’s turning toward the light, trying to escape darkness or whatever shady dealings that the super hot male model is pulling her toward. And I don’t want to get into the reasons why but I love that the male model is Asian!

Hot!  And here’s more of Marion in her utterly captivating beauty. Her beauty, to me at least, is in her expressiveness. It doesn’t hurt that she’s pretty but the power of the photo isn’t in her features; rather its in her use of her features. Ok enough rambling! More pics!

LOVE! But have you seen the short film with her and Ian McKellen? It demonstrates one of my favorite things: The power of women to transform another being. Sooo gorgeous!

The Stories of Eva Luna by Isabel Allende is incredible if you like the theme of women’s power to transform. Some of the stories are a bit idealistic but it’s a beautiful take on how as people on this earth, if we find and/or give love, it has the potential to change people in ways nothing else possibly could.

It involves grace though, not merely love. It requires giving of yourself in a way that for most people does not come naturally. I think that’s what most beautiful about it.

But today I stumbled upon a music video linked on Topshop’s blog that changed just about everything in the way I see Kate Moss’s goofy companion.

Satellite by The Kills:

The song itself is alright, but the video is awwwwesome. I love film-noir and non-hollywood-pretty characters who do their own thing. And my thoughts of Jamie Hince now? Well, where can I find one of my own! He shows a playfulness in the video that I think comes off as goofiness in photos. And I love that.

And it’s interesting but I’ve met people who are insanely attractive in person but come out consistently awful in photos. There’s something about them in motion, the way they move or SOMETHING that photos can’t seem to capture the beauty of. And hearing admiration of others who’ve seen Jamie Hince in person, I’m thinking the same is of him. I still don’t think of him as gorgeous, but he’s definitely much more attractive in the video. Not that looks really matter with some folks. It certainly doesn’t to me beyond the first few hours

Anyway, I have a newfound tiny crush on Jamie Hince. And in celebration of it, here are more photos!

Hi cutie!

Actually, I did lose about 15-20 pounds since April of last year.  I lost it over half a dozen times so that’s like SUPER success, no?!

Ok so I’m a yo-yo’er.  It’s why I have a soft spot for people like Jessica Simpson who, God bless her heart, I believe tries to lose weight without drugs but this time has enlisted Tracy Anderson to help her lose weight for her wedding SOOOO I’m not sure it’s that much better…

BUT, I’ve read tons of reviews about Tracy Anderson’s work and the general consensus is that she’s a super strict calorie monitor, and her dance work-out videos suck BUT her pilates mat exercises are awesome.  And having bought Tracy Anderson’s 30-Day Method:  The Weight-Loss Kick-Start that makes Perfection Possible, I agree:  her dance videos DO suck (I have another one from a few years ago) and she plans to help you lose weight by taking you to near-starvation levels, but her mat exercise regime is genius.  At least for my body type.  I’m an apple, with an appley center and strangely lanky limbs.

I’m kinda recovering from a month-long binge-fest so I’m more appley than normal.  I am restarting my diet for the umptheenth time tomorrow and as I’m typing this, I’m hearing a thousand voices proclaiming that diets don’t work but the truth is that I do not know how to do lifestyle changes when it comes to food.  It’s partly because I don’t know how to stop thinking of food as evil nor good, and I don’t know how to stop a binge once I cave in and taste a bite of those damned sweets that people are bringing in every other day to work!!!

But I’m totally going to lose weight! TOTALLY! Here’s my plan of execution:

1. I’m first going to spend a month or so eating as clean as possible to drop the fat. I don’t like Tracy’s diet but I’m going to count calories and carbs (carbs unfortunately do not get along well with my body) with the occasional carb-up day. I read a lot on body-building websites and the theory on carb-up days is really interesting — look it up if you’re interested!  I personally like www.forum.bodybuilding.com but you have to filter out all the comments about supplements (this IS for bodybuilding, after all). Results: I’ll look skinnier but will probably be skinny-fat because I don’t want to work out just yet.

2. After about a month (or until I lose 10 pounds), I’m going to start working out and do Tracy’s mat exercises to see how it changes my body. Results: I’ll find out!

I’m curious if it’s possible to lose the saggy tummy from her exercises.  Tracy says that women who have had babies can lose the saggy pooch eventually through her exercises and even if it’s true for half of those women, there may be hope for me, because I have a super saggy tummy even when I’m at about my lowest of 110 pounds (I’m super short and about 120-125 right now).

It’s embarrassing to post photos but I think I’ll do it just cuz it’s fun. But, I may not, just cuz I’m also that lazy.

I read something interesting in an article that applied directly to me: ”You can’t date a man who isn’t happy with his job, and you can’t date a woman who isn’t happy with her weight.” I truly believe that my weight and body and food issues prevent me from being able to forge and maintain healthy relationships not just with guys but with female friends and family members as well. I stress out the week leading up to a dinner date or social gathering. I sometimes start bingeing in anticipation of the event itself (sometimes so much so that I cancel the date because I stuff myself so much that I can’t bring myself to go out much less even try fitting into something wearable). It’s really crazy inside this head during those dark, sad times. But I want to fix it. Obviously, I don’t know how but I’m working on it.

Anywaaayz, I’m rambling on so much! I don’t know why I’m posting this!

** Edit ** I fell asleep last night and didn’t post this. I’m looking around at my room full of empty bags of food, evidence of my recent binge, and I’m not even disgusted because I’ve done it so often that I’m numb to it. But I’m definitely motivated to restart my diet. I think I’m addicted to these first few days of dieting — there’s almost a rush of excitement and anticipation about what I can achieve. I’m up about 8.5 pounds from a couple days ago which I know is mostly water retention, and my waist is 38 inches lol. Ya I’m super bloated. Sigh. Bleh, I’m ok with that for now! Smaller me, here I come!

I know this necklace is a creation that’s gone out of control but I absolutely love it.

I think I’d feel like princess wearing it, albeit a deluded, self-proclaimed one who just emerged from remote jungle, but a princess nonetheless.

This Swarovski Crystal Necklace by Giles sells for $2068.00 at farfetch.com. Oh, crazy necklace, why must you be so expensive!!!

I wear glasses. So I love photos that make glasses look cool.

Okay… not just cool, but sexy too.

Kate Beckinsale, Mean Magazine, April 2008:

And cute and adorable!

Megan Fox:

Lara Stone:

Marilyn Monroe:

And Kate Moss in a photo which I know doesn’t really count but I just love its wackiness!

“I am inspired by the nomadic world traveler; discovering bits and pieces of traditions from cultures one visits as reminders of exotic and far away lands,” says New York-based handbag and jewelry designer Kimberly Hartman. A little bit beach-y, a little bit bohemian jet set, and 100 percent natural and ethical, JADEtribe is the true embodiment of fashion with a conscience. Whether it’s the handbag repurposed from hand embroidered baby carrier cloths, or the hand braided jewelry that jingles, or the organically dyed and hand loomed traditional textiles, each element of JADEtribe carries in it a piece of Kimberly’s heart and a piece of the hearts of the women in Cambodia, Laos and Thailand whose lives have been improved by making it.

Okay, so forget the ethical, conscience, 100% natural part of these bags. My brain stopped at the photo. This is JADEtribe’s Afghan Textile Tote and I fell in love as soon as I laid my eyes on it.

BUT… this bag sold for a little too much. $590!! So when I saw this bag:

on shopbop.com, I unhesitatingly passed it up until a few days later when the webpage populated with the “This item is sold out” notification. Then all my unhesitations balled up into a huge mountain of regret. The yellows and purples of the purse became lovelier than I remembered, and the exquisite, tribal detailing of the metal called out to me…

OKAY YA, so I got a little crazy! But seriously, I cannot express how obsessed I got with the bag once I found out I couldn’t have it. Revolve.com had the Afghan bag in red:

but I was so taken with how beautiful and bright and perfectly perfect the yellow and purple one was. It literally did take me to another land. And of course, obsession has a way of making you do stupid things, so when I saw the yellow and purple one suddenly available on shopbop — only 1 left! — I typed and clicked so fast I would have normally been embarrassed with myself. But I felt like I found lost treasure!

I’ll post pics as soon as I get a chance but the bag is a lot bigger than I thought, and it’s a lot brighter than I expected. It’s also VERY noisy. The metal on the purse announces your arrival pretty much a half mile away.

But it’s sooo pretty and I’m happy just hanging it on my dressing stand prominently displayed, planning on outfits to wear it with once I get the nerve to wear something so bright.

My two other JADEtribe favorites are the Nina Clutch with Fringe and Charms in Green/Tan, $83.00:

and Brigitte in Grey, $413.00,

The Brigitte bag in this next photo is what actually made me start on my JADEtribe bag hunt:

Kaightnyc.blogspot.com describes the story of how JADEtribe bags are made in Southeast Asia. It’s pretty cool!

Here are some pretty alternatives to JADEtribe handbags:

Embroidered Gold Bead Neck Purse, $44.00 at topshop.com:

Vintage Tiered Messenger Bag, $242.00 at boutiquetoyou.com:

Awakening Tapestry Bag, $148.00 at anthropologie.com:

Embroidered Suede Tribal Bag, £295.00 at lusso-london.com:

Ebay, etsy and this website I never saw before had some really cute, inexpensive handbags too. It’s harder to style outfits with ethnic/tribal bags but I like how they’re styled in the following two photos:

Jennifer Meyer:

Two totally different looks but both really lovely!

Click here to see photos of ethnic/tribal bags worn by celebrities. I only really like Jennifer Meyer’s outfit. The other celebrities don’t really do the bags justice with their outfits but Jennifer Meyer actually makes me want to plan a whole summer around my new purse. So pretty!

The price tag on this glorious fur cape makes me so sad. At $2498.00, this Ralph Lauren Blue Label Soraya Shearling Hooded Cape is way out of my budget. And I desperately need to feel like a princess right now (i.e. I’m getting over a guy, heart hurting, ego busted). But I can definitely make do with at least posting about it and saving the photo in my computer. It makes me feel like I have a piece of it somehow. Isn’t that so silly! But it works!

The color is listed as “Stardust Cream” which is a little hokey. I love the color though. It’s the perfect thing to wear in a place like Kiev’s wintry snow forest:

No, I’m not insane!  I’m just slightly masochistic!

I had this McDonald’s “treat” on my To-Eat list for a couple of years and finally found one at my local McDonald’s the other morning. I think I might have even squealed when I saw it on the menu.

Anyway, it’s pretty much exactly how this blog described it:  It’s a sugar-cookie tube filled with a thick, mushy hot mess. I couldn’t bring myself to eat the custard inside. It wasn’t even custardy — it was some gooey, clumpy paste. But I actually liked the crust! It tasted like the best part of a sugar cookie. When eaten warm, it was crunchy but not too hard, and yummily sweet. The challenge of eating it was scraping off the custard without breaking the crust.

The McDonald’s Holiday Pie is only available seasonally, November 18 to December 31, 2010. From reports of Holiday Pie hunters, these are available only in a few select McDonald’s. I found mine at in La Habra, CA on Beach Blvd. and Imperial Hwy.

If you’re in the Los Angeles area, here are two confirmed locations compliments of brandeating.com:

5310 W. Rosecrans Ave.
Hawthorne CA 90250

1203 Artesia Blvd.
Manhattan Beach CA 90266

Enjoy!

But for now, here is a new batch of really pretty stuff!

Alberta Ferretti Ruffle Silk-Chiffon Blouse, $710 at net-a-porter:

BCBG MaxAzria Runway Pleated-Applique Top, $248 at bcbg.com:

That top is gorgeous in a thousand different ways. And I have to say, I’m so used to seeing everything’s prices so ridiculously hiked up that the price for this blouse doesn’t seem that bad. It’s just that I have absolutely NOWHERE to wear such a thing to, and even if I did, it’s the sort of thing that I’d wear only once.

Anthropologie Ruffled Riceflower Tank, $78 at anthropologie:

I just love the back. I love it!

Porter Grey Bubble Shorts, $295 at shopbop:

Iro Mya Shorts, $198 at shopbop:

Yuki Kerry Dress, $104 at topshop:

Asos Digital Gemstone Slinky One Shoulder, $94.02 at asos:

Alice + Olivia Brandy Beaded Crochet Top, $275 at shopbop:

I really like the top but I think it’s totally overpriced. It almost pisses me off! But I’m sure it’s probably made painstakingly with the most precious of materials. And will last through almost any snags. Until you get it hooked on the button of your jacket. Or your ring. Or air. Like really HARD air of course.

Speaking of expensive stuff,

Judith Leiber Birdcage Fine-Crystal Bag, $5595 at net-a-porter:

I love birdcages. So a pretty birdcage bag to carry around with me everywhere I go? I … must … have…

BUT, to be honest, I’m not that crazy about it. I like the idea, but the crystals look like beads. And it’s a little bit too gaudy. I think I’d start getting annoyed at it if I looked at it too long.